Dementia
by Michelle H. C. Zhu
Summary: In the ruined future, Antinomy proposes an alternative option of saving mankind. Aporia is terrified and Paradox is furious.


**A/N:** _Happy apocalypse, you guys!_

* * *

Ark Cradle, in its fundamental architectural blueprint, was designed to be a glorified laboratory. The remaining survivors of the apocalypse carried out an immeasurable number of experiments here, trying with all their humanly might to reverse the catastrophic damage that had been done to their world.

Aporia was alone in the vacuum chamber, keeping watch over the IEC system. The energy source shimmered and glowed, its nuclear fuel core rotating in the reactor while ions revolved around it like moons to a planet.

Footsteps that started out distant slowly drew closer as Aporia was lost in his musings. When the footsteps finally stopped, Aporia turned to gaze at the man that stood before him. Bald, sprouting a thin wiry beard and a set of cat whiskers, and clad in attire resembling the riding suit during his old turbo dueling days, Antinomy looked far more elderly than the last time Aporia had seen him.

"Aporia, my dear friend… how goes the work?" The former turbo duelist joined his comrade in watching the results of their latest experiment.

"I'm afraid that progress remains static."

"Ah. So it seems," Antinomy responded vaguely, stroking his beard as he gauged the reactor with somber eyes. The fact Antinomy, who was easily the most light-hearted and optimistic out of the four, was displaying a rare moment of solemnity didn't go unnoticed by Aporia.

"Is something troubling you?" he asked softly.

Antinomy's hand left his beard and he expelled a sigh that seemed to shake his entire frail figure. "Alas. It is only the ache of my old bones; I feel that I only have a few years left on this planet. My body grows weaker with each passing day… and yet the world still remains as bleak and barren as it has been for the last half century."

The verbalization of the truth only made Aporia more painfully aware of the urgency of their whole situation. His friends were slowly slipping away_—_it wouldn't be long before he, too, was at death's door.

"Have hope, my friend," Aporia encouraged, mustering up a small smile to the best of his ability. "We may find the answer yet."

Antinomy returned the gesture with a smile of his own. "Indeed. Actually, I want to talk to you regarding that matter. Listen to me: Our ultimate goal is to prevent the extinction of the human race, is it not? We are surrounded by a vast array of cutting edge technology, yet I feel perhaps we've been looking at this quandary from the wrong angle…"

Aporia slowly peered up at Antinomy and regarded his friend with a pensive look. "What are you saying?"

"I have been thinking. All this time we've been trying to change the past… why not plan for the future instead? It seems that in the midst of all these gizmos and gadgets, we've forgotten the fundamental manner of how all lifeforms ensure their genes will be passed on…"

A flicker of confusion briefly lit Aporia's face, but dissolved back into sadness after a passing moment. _Even if there **was** a female survivor among us…_ Aporia immediately cleared away idea; even after all these many years, the thought of _her_ still couldn't go unaccompanied by a stab of pain to his heart. Aporia shook his head, dimly wondering what led his friend to broach this subject.

"Antinomy," he said, his voice low with a veiled grief, "Have you forgotten? We are the only four survivors on this earth."

"Indeed." Antinomy was back to stroking his long beard. "But we cannot allow our mortal limits to hold us back. That is why I asked Z-ONE to create a machine that changes one's gender."

Any intentions Aporia may have had to comfort his friend evaporated in favor of a sheer, unadulterated, "…_what_?"

His RITC hearing aid was low on batteries. This was the only logical explanation. Surely Antinomy didn't_ actually_ say what Aporia thought he had said.

Aporia's response seemed to have no effect on Antinomy because he continued speaking, unhampered by his friend's outburst.

"It is the only full-proof means by which we can ensure the sustained existence of our species. One of us will have to change their sex and mate with the opposite gender to bear the offspring of the next generation."

Aporia spent a good long moment blankstaring at Antinomy like it was going out of fashion before his expression shifted from "_utterly flabbergasted_" into "_checking your visage for any signs that you're currently going through a stroke_".

"Antinomy…?" His voice was hesitant and questioning. "Are you not feeling… well?"

"I elect Paradox for being the candidate who undergoes the transformation," Antinomy continued, apparently not having heard Aporia's question in addition to being unaware that his own words were, in any way, odd. "Judging from his grooming habits, he may be the one with the most female alleles instilled in his genetics."

"Wait—I—_excuse me_?"

"On the off chance that Paradox is unable to go through with the alteration, you're next in line Aporia, as you are the youngest among us."

There was an incoherent gasp on Aporia's behalf and he almost lost clutch of his cane. Sensing Aporia's distress for the first time, Antinomy moved forward and rested a supportive hand on his friend's shoulder.

"I understand that you're hesitant to undertake such an enormous change, but I know you would make the sacrifice for the good of all mankind."

"It's_ hardly_ that…" Aporia protested weakly.

"_Oh._ Of course." Antinomy's elderly face dawned with a gleam of understanding. "You're wondering how this is possible if the four of us are all past our andropause stages. Well, we have prepared for this minor roadblock. You see, Z-ONE and I have also been working on a device that reverses a person's age…"

Aporia's expression lit up with a dim hope.

"… however it only works in conjunction with the aforementioned gender-changing process."

His face fell.

"Z-ONE has a very fatherly nature," the retired turbo duelist consoled. "Either you or Paradox would make a fine mother."

Antinomy squeezed his friend's shoulder to relay a sense of comfort to Aporia—which had the exact opposite effect. It was only due to their close friendship that Aporia was able to refrain himself from blurting out that Antinomy was a mad man, although the amount of _what the hell's_ radiating off Aporia's being still remained practically tangible.

"Is this not great news? Mankind will be saved," Antinomy concluded. His face crinkled into a warm smile so pure and beaming that anybody else would have guessed he was boasting about his grandniece's piano recital rather than having just announced that mankind's only hope was this magical sex-changing machine—

(which Aporia wasn't even sure actually existed—_god have mercy on him_ if it was anything **other** than a figment of Antinomy's imagination; he wasn't sure his heart could cope with discovering that Z-ONE had in fact jumped on the bandwagon of Crazy with Antinomy.)

Aporia dry-swallowed and tried his hardest to ignore the mental images that his brain conjured up as an extension of Antinomy's words. He chewed over the most appropriate way to proceed. On one hand, there was the very alluring option of knocking Antinomy out with a good whack with his cane and dragging the poor man to the infirmary to see if he had a fever or something. On the other hand, Antinomy, along with Paradox and Z-ONE, had saved Aporia from the fate of spending his remaining years embraced in the cold arms of loneliness and Aporia really owed it to his cherished friends to remain loyal… even when one of them was talking in hypothetical terms of transsexual surgery.

Camaraderie won over belligerence (he had outgrown his violence-prone temperament a long time ago) and Aporia found himself gently guiding his senile old companion towards the exit.

"My friend… what you have told me is fascinating indeed… but perhaps you should lie down and rest. The stress of work must be getting to you."

A look of mild indignancy was directed towards Aporia. "What is this foolishness that passes through your lips? I have no need for rest. What we should do is immediately return to Z-ONE and get started with the procedure right away. The new world awaits!"

"Yes," Aporia agreed, "But perhaps through _other _ways."

Other ways that didn't include gender reassignment therapy, he thought morbidly.

"Indeed. Z-ONE and I have also on several occasions discussed the use of parthenogenesis to repopulate the world," Antinomy offered, genially unaware that he was pushing this conversation firmly back into the "_…what_" territory for Aporia.

_May whatever deity that happens to be listening, if any, **save us all**—_

Aporia's prayers didn't fall on deaf ears; they reached the big man himself in Card Game heaven who immediately sent down a herald to handle the situation. Just as the two friends were reaching the exit of the chamber, they were suddenly greeted by the aged, creaky frame of Paradox hurling himself through the doorframe.

"… _goddammit _Antinomy," the astrophysicist yelled hoarsely, his magenta-threaded eyebrows knitted in exasperation and monocle askew, "did you forget to take your medication _again_?"

* * *

**_A/N: _**_And then Paradox chucks Risperdal down Antinomy's throat and THEN ALL IS HAPPY AND GOOD. Except not, because the world has ended, etc. _

_… … … if you think about it, if there was just a single girl on the earth, Z-ONE and his old folks wouldn't need to go through all that trouble of going back to the past to play card games on motorcycles._

_I mean, it's not like Noah, Deucalion, or the protag played by Will Smith in 'I am Legend' tried to change the apocalyptic past in their respective stories through means of metaphorical chess games and floating castles falling from the sky. What did they do? THEY REPRODUCED. (… or tried to at least.)_

_You may say they were all too old for biological reproduction by the time Aporia joined the gang, but Antinomy met Z-ONE in his **twenties**. HE HAS NO EXCUSE._


End file.
